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I have just one question for you..

Leonard: While I am perfectly happy with the way things are between us, you said that you didn’t want to go out with me because I was too smart for you! Well, news flash, lady, David Underhill is ten times smarter than me! You’d have to drive a railroad spike into his brain for me to beat him at checkers! Next to him, I’m like on of those sign-language gorillas who knows how to ask for grapes! So, my question is, what’s up with that?

Penny: Why are you yelling at me?

Leonard: Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Nevermind, we’re cool.

Penny: Dave is not smarter than you! He’s an idiot!

Leonard: Really? Why would you say that?

Penny: Because a smart guy takes the nude photos of his wife off his cell phone before he tried to take nude photos of his girlfriend.

Leonard: He tried to take nude photos of you?

Penny: THAT’S WHAT YOU TOOK FROM THAT? The guy is married!

Leonard: Oh, yeah, I’m so.. oh, that’s terrible.

Penny: And you, if you are so okay with the way things are between us, why are you so jealous?

Leonard: Well, uh, the important thing is he’s married and that’s terrible!

Penny: Nice save, genius. Eggnog?

Leonard: Lactose.

Penny: It’s just rum. It stopped being eggnog like half an hour ago. 

Leonard: Smooth.

Penny: Smoother than you.

Leonard: Come on, it’s Christmas, just give me this one.

Penny: Okay, Merry Christmas.

Leonard: By the way, my leg is killing me. Thanks for asking.

(Source: chelsuu)

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