December 2011
57 posts
7 tags
No, seriously...
Leonard: …I think I’ve finally figured out my problem with women.
Sheldon: The capybara is the largest member of the rodent family.
Leonard: What does that have to do with me and women?
Sheldon: Nothing. It was a desperate attempt to introduce an alternate topic of conversation.
Leonard: My problem is, I don’t project confidence. So I decided that the next time I meet a...
November 2011
209 posts
6 tags
It's getting pretty late...
Leonard: How come you’re still up?
Sheldon: I’ve found an emulator online that lets you play classic text based computer games from the 1980s.
Leonard: That’s pretty cool.
Sheldon: Oh, yes. It runs on the world’s most powerful graphics chip, imagination.
Leonard: You’ve really got to get out more.
Sheldon: Go north. You can’t go that way. Go west. A...
8 tags
Hey guys...
Raj: Guess who I found at LAX. My baby sister, Priya.
Sheldon: Excuse me. I object. You propose a guessing game, yet you don’t give me time to guess. For the record, I was going to say your sister Priya.
Priya: Oh, Sheldon. You haven’t changed a bit, have you?
Sheldon: Why would I change?
Leonard: The hope has been that you’d eventually bend to public opinion. So, Priya,...
6 tags
It's nice to meet you, too.
Mrs. Fowler: I honestly didn’t believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.
Sheldon: I assure you I am quite real and I’m having regular intercourse with your daughter.
Mrs. Fowler: What?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. We’re like wild animals in heat. It’s a wonder neither of us has been hurt.
Mrs. Fowler: Amy, what is he saying?
Amy: You wanted me to have a boyfriend,...
5 tags
EZ Aquarii B...
Sheldon: EZ Aquarii C…
Sheldon: Excuse me, madam.
Amy: Sheldon?
Sheldon: Rats!
Amy: I believe a misunderstanding may have occurred when I asked you to meet my mother.
Sheldon: No misunderstanding. I’ve learned what that request means, and I don’t want to be joined to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis.
Amy: In what way are you...
4 tags
Oh, Sheldon...
Sheldon: Proxima Centauri’s the nearest star. The celestial bodies that follow are; Alpha Centauri A, Toli, Barnard’s Star, Wolf 359…
Sheldon: Lalande 21185, Sirius A, Sirius B, BL-Ceti, UV-Ceti, Ross 154…
Sheldon: Ross 248…
Sheldon: Epsilon Eridani, Lac-9352, Ross 128, Procyon...
Well, I'm off...
Leonard: Well, I’m off to meet Bernadette’s friend. How do I look?
Sheldon: As if one of the plants from Invasion of the Body Snatchers duplicated you in every way, only with an absurd amount of hair gel.
Leonard: What are you working on?
Sheldon: I’m removing my digital footprint form the Internet so Amy Farrah Fowler can’t find me an compel me to meet her...
6 tags
*Ding dong*
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, get the door!
Howard: Why can’t you get it?
Mrs. Wolowitz: You know I’m doing a bowel cleanse for my colonoscopy! I’m like an upside-down volcano here!.
Howard: Oh, hey. I hope you didn’t hear that.
Leonard: The volcano thing? No.
Howard: What’s with the t-shirt? You working at the Apple store now?
Howard: I know all your shirts....
